Every coffee drinker falls into one of these 14 categories. Throughout your coffee journey, you may have even drifted through all 14 of them. How many of the types of coffee drinkers do you know personally? Let’s find out!
The Casual Caffeine Consumer
The Consumer is your average Joe coffee drinker. They like their drip coffee, but they’d probably like anything else just the same. They probably use a bit of cream and sugar or maybe some flavored creamer. They may even opt for a flavored coffee.
Coffee is not the most important part of their day, but it’s a nice comfort when it’s available. Their day might be able to start without coffee, but it will start a lot faster with it.
The Average Accelerant Addict
Does the Addict drink coffee to live or live to drink coffee? Honestly, it’s one and the same at this point. Cream or sugar might be nice, but they’ll drink it straight from the tap if you let them. Offer them coffee and you’ll be their best friend. Keep them from their coffee and they cannot be held responsible for their actions.
The Sweet Syrupy Sipper
Would you like a little coffee with your sugars and flavorings? The Sipper will order anything with the words caramel, mocha, chocolate, cloud, or vanilla. The coffee is really just an excuse for them to taste all the flavors of the rainbow, and they will probably admit the same.
The Stubbornly Steadfast Snob
You know who you are, Snob. You are convinced that no coffee is better than mediocre coffee. You have a favorite brand, and you frown on anyone that visits Starbucks or drinks an inferior brew.
The Precision Pour-over Purist
No coffee can ever beat a pour-over. The Purist knows all the best pour-over recipes, and they will never own a drip coffee maker again (except maybe an automatic pour-over coffee maker). They believe that anything worth doing is worth doing right. If that means taking seven minutes to make a cup of coffee, then so be it.
The Insistent Instant Individual
Seven minutes for a cup of coffee? Ain’t nobody got time for that. The Individual knows that most types of coffee drinkers frown on instant coffee, but they just don’t care. In their book, speed beats sophistication. They’ll leave their instant coffee — when someone makes an even faster brew.
The Definitive Decaf Drinker
The Drinker believes that good coffee shouldn’t leave you with the coffee jitters. Maybe they have a caffeine intolerance or allergy, but it could just be that they don’t need the buzz. Just like the instant coffee crowd, the Drinker knows that many in the coffee community look down on them. If they had a bit of caffeine in their systems, that fact would probably make them anxious.
The Single-minded Starbucks Subscriber
Collect all the stars! The Subscriber is the coffee drinker type that knows all the baristas at their favorite Starbucks location. They can tell you all the latest additions to the menu and every item on the Starbucks secret menu. If you give them a Starbucks gift card, they’ll like you a latte.
The Evolved Espresso Eagletonian
If you’ve seen Parks and Rec, you’re familiar with the Eagletonians. They split off from the rest of the town because they were convinced they were better. The Eagletonian live in a world near coffee drinkers, but they are convinced they are of a whole different breed. Espresso isn’t just another coffee to an Eagletonian, it’s the only coffee. Everyone else is just drinking sludge.
The Calculating Capsule Collector
The Collector might have a Keurig or a Nespresso, but you can bet that they have a closet full of capsules either way. They can tell you about all of the strongest coffee k-cups or the best Nespresso pods. If you tell them your favorite type of coffee, they have the perfect pod to try to convert you to their single-serve world.
The Serious Siphon Scientist
The Scientist isn’t mad, they’re just intense. They definitely know how to grind coffee beans, but their intensity goes much further than that.
That coffee maker they have might look like something out of a Bugs Bunny cartoon, but it makes some amazing coffee — and they know it. Befriend the Scientist, and don’t you dare mock their hobby. You don’t want them to go all Breaking Bad on your brew.
The Ardent AeroPress Advertiser
When the Advertiser got their AeroPress, all of their friends, co-workers, and social media followers knew within hours. That first cup had them hooked, and they want the entire world to know. When they discovered the AeroPress espresso recipe, it was all they could talk about. The old coffee ways no longer matter to the Advertiser, they’ve discovered a cool new toy, and there is no going back.
The Curious Cafe Cataloger
The Cataloger knows all of the best coffee shops in their city and probably in every other major city on Earth. You’d be a fool not to ask them where to go for your next cup away from home. They may never have brewed their own coffee. They may not know the difference between a percolator and a Moka pot, but they definitely know how to find the best Baristas in the world.
The Entirely Ethical Evangelist
The Evangelist cares about the quality of their coffee, but they also care about the farmers that produced it. Don’t suggest your favorite espresso beans to them unless those beans are shade-grown and both Rainforest Alliance and Fair Trade certified. They want the world to be a better place, and they think it’s worth spending the extra money to get us there. Don’t try to convince them otherwise — it’s a fight that you will never win.
The Altogether Awakened Adventurer
The Adventurer believes that life is only worth living with good people and good coffee beans. They can’t wait to try the taste of coffee from a new locale or a new brewing method. Coffee drinking is exciting, and they want to try all the specialty coffees and custom coffee beverages that this crazy world has to offer. The Adventurer firmly believes that the best beverage is always the next one — or maybe the one after that.
The Confident Coffee Connoisseur
At first glance, the Connoisseur looks much like the Snob. When you look deeper, though, you’ll realize that the Connoisseur is actually an evolution of one or many of the other types of coffee drinkers. They aren’t snobbish so much as knowledgeable. They know exactly what the effects of changing your coffee-to-water ratio, brewing temperature, and brewing methods will be. They know all the best beans from all the best places.
A Connoisseur is the product of experience. They are the masters of the art, and regular coffee drinkers and coffee enthusiasts alike would be lucky to know one. The best part is that anyone can become a Connoisseur. If you are drinking a coffee right now, you are well into your studies.
What Type of Coffee Drinker Are You?
I’m an Adventurer. That’s why I write this blog. In the past, I’ve been an Advertiser, a Consumer, and an Addict. One day, I hope to be a Connoisseur.
All types of coffee drinkers are welcome at EasyToEspresso.com. This is a journey together through the world of coffee, and I want you all along for the ride.
Whether you drink 10 cups per day or just enjoy the health benefits of a single cup of homemade coffee, this is your new home for information about coffee beans, brewing methods, and the coffee industry.
Whether you are holding a black coffee or a frappuccino, raise your glass. Cheers, and welcome aboard!